FIRST IMPRESSIONS OF CIVILIZATION
 I WAS scarcely old enough to know anything definite about the "Big Knives," as we called the white
men, when the terrible Minnesota massacre broke up our home and I was carried into exile. I have
already told how I was adopted into the family of my father's younger brother, when my father was
betrayed and imprisoned. We all supposed that he had shared the fate of those who were executed at
Now the savage philosophers looked upon vengeance in the field of battle as a lofty virtue. To
avenge the death of a relative or of a dear friend was considered a great deed. My uncle,
accordingly, had spared no pains to instill into my young mind the obligation to avenge the death of
my father and my older brothers. Already I looked eagerly forward to the day when I should find an
opportunity to carry out his teachings. Mean
 while, he himself went upon the war-path and returned with scalps every summer. So it may be
imagined how I felt toward the Big Knives!
On the other hand, I had heard marvelous things of this people. In some things we despised them; in
others we regarded them as wakan (mysterious), a race whose power bordered upon the supernatural. I
learned that they had made a "fire-boat." I could not understand how they could unite two elements
which cannot exist together. I thought the water would put out the fire, and the fire would consume
the boat if it had the shadow of a chance. This was to me a preposterous thing! But when I was told
that the Big Knives had created a "fire-boat-walks-on-mountains' (a locomotive) it was too much to
"Why," declared my informant, "those who saw this monster move said that it flew from mountain to
mountain when it seemed to be excited. They said also that they believed it carried a thunder-bird,
for they frequently heard his usual war-whoop as the creature sped along!"
Several warriors had observed from a distance one of the first trains on the Northern Pacific, and
had gained an exaggerated impression of the wonders of the pale-face. They had seen it go over a
bridge that spanned a deep ravine and it seemed
 to them that it jumped from one bank to the other. I confess that the story almost quenched my ardor
Two or three young men were talking together about this fearful invention.
"However," said one, "I understand that this fire-boat-walks-on-mountains cannot move except on the
track made for it."
Although a boy is not expected to join in the conversation of his elders, I ventured to ask: "Then
it cannot chase us into any rough country?"
"No, it cannot do that," was the reply, which I heard with a great deal of relief.
I had seen guns and various other things brought to us by the French Canadians, so that I had
already some notion of the supernatural gifts of the white man; but I had never before heard such
tales as I listened to that morning. It was said that they had bridged the Missouri and Mississippi
rivers, and that they made immense houses of stone and brick, piled on top of one another until they
were as high as high hills. My brain was puzzled with these things for many a day. Finally I asked
my uncle why the Great Mystery gave such power to the Washechu (the rich)—sometimes we called
them by this name—and not to us Dakotas.
 For the same reason," he answered, "that he gave to Duta the skill to make fine bows and arrows, and
to Wachesne no skill to make anything."
"And why do the Big Knives increase so much more in number than the Dakotas?" I continued.
"It has been said, and I think it must be true, that they have larger families than we do. I went
into the house of an Eashecha (a German), and I counted no less than nine children. The eldest of
them could not have been over fifteen. When my grandfather first visited them, down at the mouth of
the Mississippi, they were comparatively few; later my father visited their Great Father at
Washington, and they had already spread over the whole country."
"Certainly they are a heartless nation. They have made some of their people servants—yes,
slaves! We have never believed in keeping slaves, but it seems that these Washechu do! It is our
belief that they painted their servants black a long time ago, to tell them from the rest, and now
the slaves have children born to them of the same color!
"The greatest object of their lives seems to be to acquire possessions—to be rich. They desire
to possess the whole world. For thirty years they were trying to entice us to sell them our
 land. Finally the outbreak gave them all, and we have been driven away from our beautiful country.
"They are a wonderful people. They have divided the day into hours, like the moons of the year. In
fact, they measure everything. Not one of them would let so much as a turnip go from his field
unless he received full value for it. I understand that their great men make a feast and invite
many, but when the feast is over the guests are required to pay for what they have eaten before
leaving the house. I myself saw at White Cliff (the name given to St. Paul, Minnesota) a man who
kept a brass drum and a bell to call people to his table; but when he got them in he would make them
pay for the food!
"I am also informed," said my uncle, "but this I hardly believe, that their Great Chief (President)
compels every man to pay him for the land he lives upon and all his personal goods—even for
his own existence—every year!" (This was his idea of taxation.) "I am sure we could not live
under such a law.
"When the outbreak occurred, we thought that our opportunity had come, for we had learned that the
Big Knives were fighting among themselves, on account of a dispute over their
 slaves. It was said that the Great Chief had allowed slaves in one part of the country and not in
another, so there was jealousy, and they had to fight it out. We don't know how true this was.
"There were some praying-men who came to us some time before the trouble arose. They observed every
seventh day as a holy day. On that day they met in a house that they had built for that purpose, to
sing, pray, and speak of their Great Mystery. I was never in one of these meetings. I understand
that they had a large book from which they read. By all accounts they were very different from all
other white men we have known, for these never observed any such day, and we never knew them to
pray, neither did they ever tell us of their Great Mystery.
"In war they have leaders and war-chiefs of different grades. The common warriors are driven forward
like a herd of antelopes to face the foe. It is on account of this manner of fighting—from
compulsion and not from personal bravery—that we count no coup on them. A lone warrior can do
much harm to a large army of them in a bad country."
It was this talk with my uncle that gave me my first clear idea of the white man.
I was almost fifteen years old when my uncle
 presented me with a flintlock gun. The possession of the "mysterious iron," and the explosive dirt,
or "pulverized coal," as it is called, filled me with new thoughts. All the war-songs that I had
ever heard from childhood came back to me with their heroes. It seemed as if I were an entirely new
being—the boy had become a man!
"I am now old enough," said I to myself, "and I must beg my uncle to take me with him on his next
war-path. I shall soon be able to go among the whites whenever I wish, and to avenge the blood of my
father and my brothers."
I had already begun to invoke the blessing of the Great Mystery. Scarcely a day passed that I did
not offer up some of my game, so that he might not be displeased with me. My people saw very little
of me during the day, for in solitude I found the strength I needed. I groped about in the
wilderness, and determined to assume my position as a man. My boyish ways were departing, and a
sullen dignity and composure was taking their place.
The thought of love did not hinder my ambitions. I had a vague dream of some day courting a pretty
maiden, after I had made my reputation, and won the eagle feathers.
One day, when I was away on the daily hunt,
 two strangers from the United States visited our camp. They had boldly ventured across the northern
border. They were Indians, but clad in the white man's garments. It was as well that I was absent
with my gun.
My father, accompanied by an Indian guide, after many days' searching had found us at last. He had
been imprisoned at Davenport, Iowa, with those who took part in the massacre or in the battles
following, and he was taught in prison and converted by the pioneer missionaries, Drs. Williamson
and Riggs. He was under sentence of death, but was among the number against whom no direct evidence
was found, and who were finally pardoned by President Lincoln.
When he was released, and returned to the new reservation upon the Missouri river, he soon became
convinced that life on a government reservation meant physical and moral degradation. Therefore he
determined, with several others, to try the white man's way of gaining a livelihood. They
accordingly left the agency against the persuasions of the agent, renounced all government
assistance, and took land under the United States Homestead law, on the Big Sioux river. After he
had made his home there, he desired to seek his lost child. It was then a dangerous undertaking to
 line, but his Christian love prompted him to do it. He secured a good guide, and found his way in
time through the vast wilderness.
As for me, I little dreamed of anything unusual to happen on my return. As I approached our camp
with my game on my shoulder, I had not the slightest premonition that I was suddenly to be hurled
from my savage life into a life unknown to me hitherto.
When I appeared in sight my father, who had patiently listened to my uncle's long account of my
early life and training, became very much excited. He was eager to embrace the child who, as he had
just been informed, made it already the object of his life to avenge his father's blood. The loving
father could not remain in the teepee and watch the boy coming, so he started to meet him. My uncle
arose to go with his brother to insure his safety.
My face burned with the unusual excitement caused by the sight of a man wearing the Big Knives"
clothing and coming toward me with my uncle.
"What does this mean, uncle?"
"My boy, this is your father, my brother, whom we mourned as dead. He has come for you."
 My father added: "I am glad that my son is strong and brave. Your brothers have adopted the white
man's way; I came for you to learn this new way, too; and I want you to grow up a good man."
He had brought me some civilized clothing, At first, I disliked very much to wear garments made by
the people I had hated so bitterly. But the thought that, after all, they had not killed my father
and brothers, reconciled me, and I put on the clothes.
In a few days we started for the States. I felt as if I were dead and traveling to the Spirit Land;
for now all my old ideas were to give place to new ones, and my life was to be entirely different
from that of the past.
Still, I was eager to see some of the wonderful inventions of the white people. When we reached Fort
Totten, I gazed about me with lively interest and a quick imagination.
My father had forgotten to tell me that the fire-boat-walks-on-mountains had its track at Jamestown,
and might appear at any moment. As I was watering the ponies, a peculiar shrilling noise pealed
forth from just beyond the hills. The ponies threw back their heads and listened; then they ran
snorting over the prairie.
Mean-  while, I too had taken alarm. I leaped on the back of one of the ponies, and dashed off at full
speed. It was a clear day; I could not imagine what had caused such an unearthly noise. It seemed as
if the world were about to burst in two!
I got upon a hill as the train appeared. "O!" I said to myself, "that is the
fire-boat-walks-on-mountains that I have heard about!" Then I drove back the ponies.
My father was accustomed every morning to read from his Bible, and sing a stanza of a hymn. I was
about very early with my gun for several mornings; but at last he stopped me as I was preparing to
go out, and bade me wait.
I listened with much astonishment. The hymn contained the word Jesus. I did not comprehend what this
meant; and my father then told me that Jesus was the Son of God who came on earth to save sinners,
and that it was because of him that he had sought me. This conversation made a deep impression upon
Late in the fall we reached the citizen settlement at Flandreau, South Dakota, where my father and
some others dwelt among the whites. Here my wild life came to an end, and my school days began.