HOW THE RHINOCEROS GOT HIS SKIN
 ONCE upon a time, on an uninhabited island on the shores of the
Red Sea, there lived a Parsee from whose hat the rays of the sun
were reflected in more-than-oriental splendour. And the Parsee
lived by the Red Sea with nothing but his hat and his knife and a
cooking-stove of the kind that you must particularly never touch.
And one day he took flour and water and currants and plums and
sugar and things, and made himself one cake which was two feet
across and three feet thick. It was indeed a Superior
 Comestible (that's magic), and he put it on the stove
because he was allowed to
cook on that stove, and he baked it and he baked it till it was
all done brown and smelt most sentimental. But just as he was
going to eat it there came down to the beach from the Altogether
Uninhabited Interior one Rhinoceros with a horn on his nose, two
piggy eyes, and few manners. In those days the Rhinoceros's skin
fitted him quite tight. There were no wrinkles in it anywhere.
He looked exactly like a Noah's Ark Rhinoceros, but of course
much bigger. All the same, he had no manners then, and he has no
manners now, and he never will have any manners. He said, "How!"and the Parsee left that cake and climbed to the top of a palm
tree with nothing on but his hat, from which the rays of the sun
were always reflected in more-than-oriental splendour. And the
Rhinoceros upset the oil-stove with his nose, and the cake rolled
on the sand, and he spiked that cake on the horn of his nose, and
he ate it, and he went away, waving his tail, to the desolate and
Exclusively Uninhabited Interior which abuts on the islands of
Mazanderan, Socotra, and Promontories of the Larger Equinox.
 Parsee came down from his palm-tree and put the stove on
its legs and recited the following Sloka, which, as you have not
heard, I will now proceed to relate:—
Them that takes cakes
Which the Parsee-man bakes
Makes dreadful mistakes.
And there was a great deal more in that than you would think.
THIS is the picture of the Parsee beginning to eat his
cake on the Uninhabited Island in the Red Sea on a very
hot day; and of the Rhinoceros coming down from the
Altogether Uninhabited Interior, which, as you can truthfully
see, is all rocky. The Rhinoceros’s skin is quite smooth,
and the three buttons that button it up are underneath, so
you can’t see them. The squiggly things on the Parsee’s hat
are the rays of the sun reflected in more-than-oriental
splendour, because if I had drawn real rays they would have
filled up all the picture. The cake has currants in it; and
the wheel-thing lying on the sand in front belonged to one
of Pharaoh’s chariots when he tried to cross the Red Sea. The
Parsee found it, and kept it to play with. The Parsee’s name
was Pestonjee Bomonjee, and the Rhinoceros was called Strorks,
because he breathed through his mouth instead of his nose.
I wouldn’t ask anything about the cooking-stove if
I were you.
Because, five weeks later, there was a heat wave in the Red Sea,
and everybody took off all the clothes they had. The Parsee
took off his hat; but the Rhinoceros took off his skin and
carried it over his shoulder as he came down to the beach to
bathe. In those days it buttoned underneath with three buttons
and looked like a waterproof. He said nothing whatever about the
Parsee's cake, because he had eaten it all; and he never had any
manners, then, since, or henceforward. He waddled straight into
the water and blew bubbles through his nose, leaving his skin on
Presently the Parsee came by and found the skin, and he smiled
one smile that ran all round his face two times. Then he danced
three times round the skin and rubbed his hands.
 Then he went
to his camp and filled his hat with cake-crumbs, for the Parsee
never ate anything but cake, and never swept out his camp. He
took that skin, and he shook that skin, and he scrubbed that
skin, and he rubbed that skin just as full of old, dry, stale,
tickly cake-crumbs and some burned currants as ever it could
possibly hold. Then he climbed to the top of his palm-tree and
waited for the Rhinoceros to come out of the water and put it on.
THIS is the Parsee Pestonjee Bomonjee sitting in his palm
tree and watching the Rhinoceros Strorks bathing near the
beach of the Altogether Uninhabited Island after Strorks had
taken off his skin. The Parsee has put the cake-crumbs into
the skin, and he is smiling to think how they will tickle
Strorks when Strorks puts it on again. The skin is just under
the rocks below the palm-tree in a cool place; that is why you
can’t see it. The Parsee is wearing a new
more-than-oriental-splendour hat of the sort that Parsees
wear; and he has a knife in his hand to cut his name on palm
trees. The black things on the islands out at sea are bits of
ships that got wrecked going down the Red Sea; but all the
passengers were saved and went home.
The black thing in the water close to the shore is not a wreck
at all. It is Strorks the Rhinoceros bathing without his skin..
He was just as black underneath his skin as he was outside.
I wouldn’t ask anything about the cooking-stove if I were you.
And the Rhinoceros did. He buttoned it up with the three buttons,
and it tickled like cake crumbs in bed. Then he wanted to
scratch, but that made it worse; and then he lay down on the
sands and rolled and rolled and rolled, and every time he rolled
the cake crumbs tickled him worse and worse and worse. Then he
ran to the palm-tree and rubbed and rubbed and rubbed himself
against it. He rubbed so much and so hard that he rubbed his
skin into a great fold over his shoulders, and another fold
underneath, where the buttons used to be (but he rubbed the
buttons off), and he rubbed some more folds over his legs. And
it spoiled his temper, but it didn't make the least difference to
the cake-crumbs. They were inside his skin
 and they tickled. So
he went home, very angry indeed and horribly scratchy; and from
that day to this every rhinoceros has great folds in his skin and
a very bad temper, all on account of the cake-crumbs inside.
But the Parsee came down from his palm-tree, wearing his hat,
from which the rays of the sun were reflected in
more-than-oriental splendour, packed up his cooking-stove, and
went away in the direction of Orotavo, Amygdala, the Upland
Meadows of Anantarivo, and the Marshes of Sonaput.
THIS Uninhabited Island
Is off Cape Gardafui,
By the Beaches of Socotra
And the Pink Arabian Sea:
But it's hot—too hot from Suez
For the likes of you and me
Ever to go
In a P. and O.
And call on the Cake-Parsee!