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A SMALL-TAIL MOVEMENT
In no campaign, perhaps, has there been so much rollicking
"good time," so much extravagant parade and noise, so
much ridiculous story-telling as in this campaign of
 It is said that in a certain village of Western
Virginia, while a speaker was setting forth in glowing
colors the wonderful generalship of Harrison, a tall,
angular farmer rose and called out,
"Mister! Mister! I want to ax a question!"
"I shall be happy to answer any question, if I can,"
replied the orator.
"We are told, fellow-citizens," said the quaint man,
addressing the crowd, "that Gineral Harrison is a mighty
great gineral; but I say he's one of the meanest sort
of ginerals. We are told that he defended himself
bravely at Fort Meigs; but I tell you that on that
occasion he was guilty of the Small-Tail
Movement, and I challenge the speaker to deny it!"
"I don't know, my friend," replied the orator, "what
you mean by the 'Small-Tail Movement.' "
"I'll tell you," said the quaint man. "I've got it
here in black and white. Here is 'Quinshaw's History
of the United States' "—holding up the
book—"and I'll read what it says: 'At this
critical moment, General Harrison executed a
novel movement!' Does the gentleman deny this
"No; go on."
"Well, he executed 'a novel movement.' Now
here's Johnson's Dictionary,"—taking a small
book out of his pocket, "and it says,
'NOVEL—a small tale!'
This was the
 kind of movement Gineral Harrison was guilty of. Now,
I'm no soger, and don't know much of milentary
tic-tacks,—but this I do say: a man who, in the
face of an enemy, is guilty of a Small-Tail
Movement, is not fit to be the President of the
United States, and he shan't have my vote."